101

you have wrecked the arts

you have gulped and threw it down;
Wynton's blood on the fields
Moby's Dick
and
Jasper's Johns



hey Immanuel Kant

you have done it all--smartly
bulked and obesed your body full of humanities to go.

no sipping, no enduring
no witnessing

Sinew

the platitude
gristle
not around for that




i am called up for the tangible
the sinew
hello' i say
salut i say to that

Again

The person who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world, will not as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages their old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so that he may endure the difficulty and pass courageously through it. Only to the extent that a person exposes himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible be found within them. In this daring lies dignity and the spirit of true awakening.










Karlfried Durckheim

no need to be
well read

or religious




20Th century

or baroque

I do not care-in detail about your convecting Viking

or your esquire smoke.


just

*you

honest

true
and loving


that is all.

Slowie can fly

"I started choking."

"Choked by a choker. That seems on the side of the odds."

"My neck swells during sex."

"Why was this thing still on? Why is it still on?"

"Waiting for my neck to go down. This is too pretty and expensive to cut off." She said now rifling through her purse."

"What did this do to your evening?"

"Huh?"

"What does a self inflicted choke do to the momentum of sexual relations."

"Well Senator, it had me-bare ass naked, running into the living room, all while clawing at my neck." She said studying the face of her cellphone. "It didn't loosen up until after a part of my vertebrae snapped back into place."

"Please, grant me permission to be your video biographer."

"Well that appointment will never happen again, after he stayed in bed smoking a cigarette."

"He could have confused your flight into the living room--to break out a window for air, as the effects of his prowess."

"I keyed his car after I left."

Lanvin is an apparition

"He can have me in texts, phone, and conversations in person. I would sit next to him at a hospital, church, football game. I love him. But we are not built for sex."

"Trying can make this a clear cut determination, and I don't say this because I want him to enjoy himself. Please enter that into your Moleskin. I'm just saying as all."

"Your just saying."

"I'm just saying."

"Well I go with a feeling."

"I do too."

"A feeling that works beautifully as a guide. I needed to find a better way of seeing the people who enter my life. I got tired of looking in bathroom mirrors saying 'How did I get here?'"

"I'm still available for that."

"Don't you wonder who these people are who coming in and out of your life?"

"I don't know. I figure it was just a gender based question."

"You ruin relationships don't you?"

"Burn them to the ground. One way to get the insurance money, of course."

"Of course. While I keep looking before matches come into play. Well in fact I let them try to, or think they have..."

"No one can have this much control. Who stays and wait around for your incredibly equipped load of beauty to run and guide the fucking show."

"People who are supposed to be there. If you leave as you might say 'I don't give a fuck'" She said smiling.

"I might say that, yea."

"You think I'm going to be lonely and this worries you?"

"I don't know."

"Again you sit here entertaining me. Following some imaginary script."

"The man who hangs around at the end of this apparition of a philosophy--helping you clean up; usually finds himself getting laid."

"You are the devil."

"Apparitions abound."

never leave them.

no one leaves







no one can leave anybody










only their behaviour







where will you go?












whatever it takes, whoever it is




run



save yourself




but you can never leave

it is your behaviour.

don't speak

i have no fucking idea what I am saying





forget my proclamations





my utterances


my ideas






it can all be overturned





all of it




it is based on the easy; the comfort. the past.





love remains the only immutable.

the tear down

Just past the ceremony




i forgot




I forgot beyond the parade and the cotton candy that I enjoyed the tear down



It is first, the lasagna at midnight

the gift instead of the colorful wrapping and bows-- and its container.




During the pass and review I forgot I enjoyed the vulnerability instead of the prettiness. I put my mobile home there and splayed myself out.
I found it is where secrets are met and wounds are healed.









It is all far beyond the parade

it is home.









it is the beginning.

about yourself

What do I own?


You have to be


predictable


you have to know it


in the middle of the constant unsuitableness




you have to know this

the

floor
the people
the circumstances


fall about




put into a constant pile of different. A obscene amount of otherwise.


you have to know this one thing