I have to eat the whole thing.

i have to eat the whole thing

sitting here doesn't help

meandering chews my nails

and in the

mean

time

we wait,

we stay away and consume our words.

You are unsettled

there is a sand in your bag

and sleep comes and goes

your stare is far across the sea to a place you can't put your finger on

you are not aware that you have shipwrecked yourself far from home

you are unsettled

that's why you are unsettled

"You're a rock in my stream."

one day I'm going to wake up

and really miss you

our conversations, our time

and you will be gone

and it will be over

and we will have wrecked it.

"Comfort is the goal, not necessarily the means."

Arten--The Disapperance Of The Universe.

William is frightening because of intensity.

"I'm going to start just sleeping with strange women."
"Ok."
"Do you understand what I mean?"
"No."
"You said ok."


"I know I did. I thought my 'ok' would maybe slow down the momentum of this conversation."
"No not quite. Over the last few years I have been having intense relationships.Right?"
"Ok."

"These relationships have been incredibly intense.
"I believe you."
"I haven't really talked about it much for the simple fact that they were a catalysis to some painful growth for me.Right? So I gave you stories of the past that could easily entertain you just to keep my gentleman's license."

"I believe you."


"I have learned a lot about myself. I have become aware. I can say that right?"
"Become aware? Dig."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Ok. I have grown my friend. I have healed a lot of things from my past and realized what I am supposed to do as a man, as a loving human being. You understand? Do you understand what I am saying?"

"Are you punching me with these words?"

"I'm not sure."

"Ok."


"What I realize and you might enjoy this; I realize that sex with a strange woman that you meet somewhere, someplace,and then you go on your way is a nice break. A mini vacation, you know what I mean? It is like this is the weekend to a very stressful week you know what I'm saying? There you are chatting someone up at a bar or what have you. "

"Yes 'what have you."
"And you're talking about nothing important, maybe 'what brings you to this bar?' or 'your lips are like wine let me get drunk off of them."

"You would say that?"
"I don't know yet. But you see my point? You just want a break from the intensity. So then you try and cover that up because you just want to have sex like some porn star sometimes with someone who doesn't know you, instead of the intensity of having someone wonderful tell you how wonderful you are;and then you feel wonderful because you are, and then they tell you 'how so glad they are that you came into their life'. And then on top of it all you lay next to them and you realize you feel completely safe, and its not fucking religion that's doing it, or marriage or any of that bullshit. It is because of that growth that this woman or some other intense relationship has cultivated out of you. It is this big thing. This intense thing, right? But it is overwhelming sometimes It's like staring at the Sun and then you realize that you are the Sun. My point is you just want to break from that intensity, right? You just want someone for some weekend who don't give a shit about you. Right?


"In that incredibly elaborate case why would you want to do that then? You're frightening. You're unusual."


"That's my point."