I will accept my present moment.

It has given me exactly what I need and what I want

I will honor my past, it has authored this gift.

Slowie is tired

"I think it is a lot more deceptive than me."

"Is that possible?"

"Yes. She was focusing so hard on what means the most to him. Well if he can properly identify it."

"That's a problem in itself, most of the men you date has that issue."

"In almost all of the cases yes, and it is clearly designed that way by me. But I have you know that I have another life going on, where I'm looking for something more opposed, and this is one of those cases."

"Right, of course."

"Once she found his consistent love she talked about how she was just like it, she went on and on about how she had arrived at the same conclusions in her life. She probably added a Francis bacon quote as a part of an email signature..."

"But this type of shit is happening every 3 minutes in the city."

"Let me finish."

"OK. Alright, don't be aggressive....don't make me have sex with you."

"After this went on for awhile--now you have to understand that there was no drinks involved-- that alone raises the person's accuracy rating. Not saying they are smarter...just more accurate at being smart or dumb."

"Of course."

"After we get so far out into the land of tweed jackets and Albert Camus and after he was securely on board with her method of operation, she heads back. She heads back to the land of the imbeciles and eventually to a conversation of how highly sexual she is."

"Was that in the same hour?"

"Just about."

"Did he bite?

"Slowly at first he kind of stared over at me, trying to see if he could read this-- clear about face in my face."

"You didn't say anything?"

"I was tired."

"Tired?"

"Yes."

"Of course."

"Well he didn't read my disdain well and quickly began to drop his whole facade and warm up to her. All of that Kafka shit he said ends with the possibility of a woman opening her legs."

"I might have as well. I think I certainly would have."

"My point to all of this is.....what is my point?...I'm tired I think that's my point."

#003

I felt like the only one who thought something was wrong. You was just one highlighted example of these fissures that lead out into my open pain. Don't catch me incorrect, you wasn't a problem at all just a light that illuminated it in me.

It was tough to deal with, and I don't mean for me to deal with, because for a couple of years now it had forced itself to be clear in my mind. There was no doubt that it was invited but now had taken up a huge amount of my time. It is now what I wake up thinking about and it easily puts me to sleep at night.

It was crystal clear. Matter of fact I miss the ambiguity a little, because it was this fucked up lullaby that I warmed myself with. The distraction was my entertainment. But here I stand clear. For what? Other than to make you upset? To send you packing, because inconclusiveness remains your friend, your confidant, your lover.

Me the drunk who has sobered up and waits on the train somewhere and you who just takes it anywhere. Anywhere away from me, anywhere away from yourself. But don't worry it is my problem. I have become calm and clear. I'm sorry.