William the lobbyist wants to know what are words worth.

"I'm tired of talking."

"I'm sure that will serve me well."

"All of this carbon dioxide in the world is starting to bother me. I feel just like news television, magazines, and books, that I'm always trying to persuade. Shape people into my perspective when we talk. That is the only truth, getting them to nod their head. The only drive. Everything else doesn't matter."

"Depends if you are on to something."

"What?"

"I can be herded if I like what your life looks like."

"Say that ten times fast."

"Especially if you are a lobbyist for peace instead of fuckupness."

"Regardless of what your saying, I'm tired. I'm tired of talking. I'm tired of all of the words."

"I don't believe you. But words are antiquated to you. These other sources needs us to nod our head. You hate words because you want us and yourself to understand without them, and that is what frustrates you. But you are still driven."

"Maybe, but I don't want them to to belong to me."

"That's it."

"What?"

"Isn't that what a lobbyist does? Work for a special interest."

"You are finally saying something of worth."

"I'm more than a pretty face."

"Back to the fraudulent words."

"...real suffering comes from clinging to a life that has nothing to offer us."

-the mentor within

William wants to surrender.

"I need to be healed. I need to be cared for."

"You?"

"I found that all of the relationships I've been in, and all the experiences I've had were conducted in some sort of mental war zone. We carried scars, shrapnel from so many other past experiences."

"I would suggest that what you are saying is laden with 'dramatics' "

"No."

"Ok."

"Can you imagine trying to have a relationship in a war zone? How do you two hold your relationship together?"

"I don't know."

"You hold it together. But that's just it, you hold it together. You don't expand. You don't breath. Something outside of you disguised as your hidden fear could come in and ransack it at anytime, and you have to be ready. You have to be prepared. In the meantime you pass time talking about your scars of the past; your past wars."

"That sounds bleak."

"It is. We need someone to care for us. We are coming to relationships from a war, and we are battle tested for a coming one."

"It seems."

"Doesn't feel to be out there when someone really cares for you; when someone hugs you and means it. Seeing you as not a soldier but innocent. It doesn't happen when you just forgive yourself."

"You think it's that simple."

"Yeah I do. I just wanted to know what I was fighting--which is nothing, and what I was resisting--which is myself. I wanted to surrender, and that is where I see that I am wounded. Deeply. Puncture and bleeding. I'm tired and I give up and demand a peace. I need to be healed. To let it in. To stay unprepared to the elements. Stay fucking unprepared for once."

"OK."

"I need to finally relax."

"Sounds serious."

"I just need to be cared for."