it is calling



screaming at me from my mundane
I am uncomfortable
not agitated


feeling powerful and seen as more than ready

with a coach screaming
another one misqouted



and a direction unmapped

he believes there are two


but I've cleared the way to one
now I see only your strength
not my frailty.







if i am correct


I seek more to enhance your strength







you see your strength







I see my purpose

Anthony at the station

"So I told him my name is Anthony at the station...."

"Do you use the @ symbol or is more just the the word 'at'?" He stared at me for a moment then studied a woman who just walked past us. "That's a resonable question right?" I added.

"Yea. On my website I just use 'at'. You think thats smart?"

"What?"

"Using 'at' instead of @?"

"I don't know."

"I mean people know me as Anthony at the station..."

"You make them say the whole thing?"

"What do you do?"

"I say the whole thing because it is a proper way of seperating you from the other Anthony, and to mock you like the rest of your friends, because of your low traveled store at the station. We didn't think you would turn it into a..a way of life."

"Your jealous of my skills to create this brand."

"Yes of course." I said as our waitress filled our water glassess.

"I am a ass paleontologist."

"How's that."

"That woman was more of a Mastodon..."

I stare at him. "Ok you are creating a brand? Like Diddy?"

"I am epic."

He says this and then nothing else as I search his face. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know."

it is here
walloping,












and asphyxiating





me


throttling so I can see




what I'm not













i find the room





directed







i give







to finally experience

is anyone listening?












Doesn't mean that I will stop








I can't






I can only sit with my hands in my lap


















even though the box is so tight











no smoking
no drinking
no carousal












nothing missing











I am focused

Mae

"How many drinks did you have?"

I drunk till the evening went into a dysfunctional fade." She she said grabbing a crumbeled pack of cigarettes left at a table next to them. Fishing a broken one up, she remembered she didn't smoke anymore. "I need another vice."

"Alcohol is playing all the roles for you right now."

"You sound like my liver." She said reaching over and pinching a piece of his cake and shoving it into her mouth.

"No I am more like your pancreas."

"Hey I got an idea. How about we go back to your place." She lowered her eyes and found his.

"And what?"

"You know."

"No I don't."

"Has it been that long? In the past you would have...what? Commandeered a police horse and threw me on the back of it."

"Yea and we would've sailed down Michigan Ave. with me barely on getting doored by cabs."

"You know I changed my mind I want to go home and go to sleep." She whispered.

"Of course."

"I hate sounding like a man all the time."

Oceania

It is heavily unexplained







We are heavily libidinous

∫

"I like my men young."

"You mean your boys in that case."

"It's all about me." She said quietly. "You rudely pointed this out."

"Yeah…till it sunk in, but I was never rude."

"You are just, you."

"Yeah."

"But I don't want to know their stand on nuclear proliferation, Walter." She said spinning her tea with her finger and tasting it.

"You don't care about their take on the world food bank."

"Well I do care…"

"Just only if they could give a thoughtful opinion." He said sitting back and folding his arms. "But his opinion has to match yours to the letter."

"Your sitting there like some high school gym coach. You claim to have me figured out."

"You have yourself figured out and you're bored. Like some chess master playing chutes and ladders."

"What?"

"Huh?"

She stared at him for a moment "It comforts me."

She quickly drank a glass of wine

Pushed herself back from the table.

Adjusted the volume of the music

Fe ll back on the couch

Her feet dangled

she is looking

she always looks



at me



as if I am covered in sequins





I count her blinks

One

you, trying on pixels



sends me slowly into a fervor





in person it is to be experienced





completly distracted by every sense.

all

we are all married











Relationships pouring into each other



no walls holding them out












flowing love through different faces












we are all married

give
give
others give and give

It is whispered till it pounds

a drip



drip

in


our mind





love




is all




there is.

not to date you





sleep with you
or marry you

it is not the design










but to still love you



that is always

The work
if unobstructed by your ideas
is arresting, needed and will allow the focused to better understand themselves










the artist mangled and broken
not a witness to it

(seeks no help)


is none of our business.

i stand in your home











disturbing nothing,


as a light breeze announcing itself only in your silence




You are here




briefly

you are manic because of this

unbalanced

because of this

but I am here at your service and wait for yours














disturbing nothing





but yet i cause anxiousness,








tears,






anger




love




your self breaks you down

I stand disturbing nothing

hoping you stay home

crumble

and see this.

I need to unravel

I need to






maraud my history

--blot it out


and unravel

I need to unravel






I need to unravel to straighten out

to wear the humble of these spoils



only then will I see.

only then will my new seams hold my present.

I need to unravel

I need to unravel to be whole

there are two of me
one stands






and one watches one stand

stay uncomfortable

















stay uncomfortable with all you see

I need to unravel

a little

then more

it is distracting holding it together.

Pulling thread through a needle.

ransacken lore
i need to unravel--just a little
just little

to see

Hidden

it's easier that way isn't?

the birds are exactly where you left them

the sky is as beautiful as you thought it


but love


love has no construct

it flows easily and safely from that humbled source willing to extend it.

enlightenment is a demolition project














'Take me to the Truth-- undoing the ego'
Nouk Sanchez & Tomas Vieira

I am the confessor

Real love can never end; nothing in this world could possibly terminate it. If a relationship disintegrates beyond repair, then the truth is that there never was a relationship, only two egos competing for specialness. If it seems that love cements a relationship and later on it falls apart, there was little love there in the first place. Love is eternal, constant and ever-expanding. It is not possible to terminate love. However, it is quite possible to abort a special relationship that no longer sustains the pseudo-worthiness of its participants.





















Take Me To Truth undoing the ego


Nouk Sanchez & Tomas Vieira

i will admit that I don't know who I am








but








I



am


















discovered










(again)














I am built.













Through your negatives your positives and your moments








i am remembered.

The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning.

Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers

Erich Fromm

we should not be attached to an outcome that will cause us to lose our peace.



















Course Koans--
(miracle news)

Jean Weston

I wish there were no words to your self portraits

they can hang as scratches to a beautiful finish

there is much to take in





leave me alone with it.

a glass of water in a coffee mug
not older but beautiful

slow














down











you can't you say?
your life is running at that pace you say?















slow down







and your life will run at that pace you say

...for there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so


- edward de vere

..we are all pieces, some bigger than others. You know I just think people keep adding pieces till you can sustain yourself. Then you go around showing people how they can do the same

One

it ain't me





you are addicted
to your feelings



they can easily relocate with you.










from one to another

nothing is visible through that state

dancing with ourselves

from one to another.

...we as people stare at a huge important experience on the shelf...we study it..and instead of letting it unfold slowly telling us where it needs to go...we fuck it.

...because I make it my business to find the authentic self in people--no matter how bloody it gets. Not as a game, but it is that thing that will allow me to see more of my real self...I have grown use to that experience.

It's the sweep

I saw her today












across the avenue



how I found her in the distance
with the crush of 5 pm seperating us.




it was easy

it was


the stance that gathered me






the cuff over the shoes that froze me

and

it was the way her hand swept her hair that confirmed it



it is the sweep
fingers full; neck twisting



the sweep










i don't love her



but she is there

and i have returned


back to the flesh

back to the starting point

those who leave quickly leave something behind....



and I have returned

The honest one sits in a chair in the crowded room

You will call me a liar a fake a bullshitter.




You will hate me




I will connive


I will lie. i will...


I have created it that way







the template is insane so--






I am

but now you cannot stop seeing my honest one.









even donning my shit






I will still clear the way for him.