melody

the way they are composed




the texture




the framing


the softness






it is like you are playing.




fingers across the compass
playing generously

playing lovely.

William is learning

"I know a lot of life's foibles do not come into play for you, because you spend most of your time sitting in this place."

"Foibles?"

"Dumpin' sugar and stirring coffee with your finger."

"I have a habit. Why should I get silverware involved."

"But I'm sitting in this woman's office and I feel disdain filling me up and shit forming in my mouth. She could just say anything remotely close or even in the suburbs of contempt to anyone else in our meeting and disorderly conduct bubbles out of me."

"You don't like her."

"No."

"Is it the perfume she wears?"

"What?"

"I read somewhere in the New Yorker that the perfume a person wears can cause disorderly conduct to be evoked from another person."

"Evoked? The New Yorker? What is this?"

"Well I am in the city of well read."

"Right. You know this women doesn't even have to say anything and I feel my blood pressure increasing and my thoughts dimming." He said resting his elbows on the table. He pulled himself back for a moment. "You know my whole point is that I am learning something here, right?"

"What?"

"Can you hear me beyond the music that is playing in your head?"

"Not really, but I have tile I could be grouting at home--I'm sure, and you are dragging me through a carbon cloud."

"Well my point is--now that you have properly highlighted it: I have learned something about myself by the level of irritation that is in my life."

"Of course."

Nicholas Flinch

"Look, my mother grew up in this town that now has chickens crossing the road a mile away away from a new--and only golf course. A Jack Nicholas golf course."




"Which came first?"





"The chickens."







"Of course."






"I'm no communist." He circled a cigar around a lit wooden match and quickly inhaled.



"Fidel might disagree."

"Dog, I'm not!"

"I know. But when does it matter that anybody cares 'what you're not'."


"What?"


"Try not to get me to say that again."


"I think my sentiments have shifted."


"What?"


"Sentiments. A emotional thought."



"Of course, but a man smoking a cigar never says sentiments."


Again he inhaled deeply, and surrounded his face with smoke. "I say whatever the fuck I want to say."




"Right. Of course you do. Your a communist."




"You know, I don't care about the uninterested. I don't care that there is gentrification; this city is 5 miles squared and horse shooed by water. Where can they move those people?"




"Is that why you don't care?"




"No I don't worry because...listen I will say 'I don't worry.' instead of 'I don't care' that's inaccurate. So, I don't worry because I believe in helping the willing."


"You."

"Me."


"What?"

"Yes"


"Not the helpless or the handicap?"




"Are you trying to trip me up with this blanket sentence?"





"Its fun making shit up."





"It is just the willing or the unwilling." He pressed his cigar into an ashtray. "Once you become willing there is always someone waiting to take you higher."

"I'm unwilling to pay this check."

You bring them, but I'm ok.

you brought them to the pier






they are noisy








but they dress so nice












comfort you with adulation (the outstanding needs no one to tell them so) and your favorite snacks
you take it all--yes--uneasily because your standing at this pier


of course they also hand you their worries
despair
and their darkness
and you wear them so you can feel you exist






you exist




you're expansive










the boat comes, and you can only sail when you have left them all behind.

You are here

You are




Yes you are







Looking for the construction

with all your tools loading you down


'is there somewhere I can go' you ask




'just somewhere I can lay my head' you whisper




'only when I am alone with its constructions' you mumble.








there is no future





you are here

building what I can only see

building what you choose not to see.

Lanvin gives you wings.

"I've known him for about 10 years."

"Oh."

"You of all people know I'm discernable."

"What does that mean?"

"You know what it means."

"Oh."

"So I tried to get him to make it another day but there he was in my neighborhood..."

"Gripping tightly to a lucky foot and a leprechaun's dick."

"Must you make this lunch memorable?"

"Of course."

"He comes up and he's on my couch, he is sipping from a Mountain Dew bottle full of red wine and he just sits there."

"He's in the china shop."

"No, he can't believe how quiet it is; he can't believe how relaxed he feels."

"Really? Just that?"

"Yes."

"I don't know..."

"You do."

"Ok."

"So a little music is playing, my phone isn't ringing, his of course is ringing every 20 minutes, and he looks at it and shrugs before throwing it back on the table. It could be a wife or a girlfriend, I don't know it doesn't matter unless he says it does. In the end I have conversation that can make his mind run cross country, and he responds to that."

"I only went out for cross country because I like the winged foot warm up jackets."

"And to show people just how slow you were in every facet."

"There was that."

"So what I am discovering about him is that he is a typical guy that would have no problem getting into my bed, but my space, my voice intoxicates him more than the red wine, and its long enough for both of us to take advantage of a different aspect of our relationship."

"You got patience for all this?"

"I'm sitting with you, right?"

"Oh."

"What are friends for, huh? I figure this is what its for."

The wordsmith went silent

it is
the distance
and

in coveralls

with
buckets and tools






and drops






scaling the mind



to construct the right sentence for fuck!


a question in words




that quickly train wrecks the paragraphs of inference






and leaves only the physical to do the answering.

searching the earth for diamonds








i find oil






gushing;










caking me

Hold reality close, flowers look better in a blur.

i like to move on
i like to keep it fuckin' movin


i don't enjoy it anymore
i've seen this play.


i've pronounced this role

i've been hamlet



no vices

no distractions










reality entertains me more.

I can pull you off the ledge




I can do nothing and your thoughts will correct

I can watch you find yourself





then you can save my life.

Storm before the calm

It is elephantine






vortex just outside the window

Yes, there is movement in here that we can talk about---








'at considerable length'

~

but outside we control its temperment



its direction.

We asked for this.

"what doesn't work for me is a lot of analysis when we have already identified that we are in love/are love. I don't like to build anymore. I don't like to build onto a car that now needs to be driven to see what its purpose is..."










~

love is revealed

and

she stands humbeled in adjoining rooms

something pulls
and she drags me along





traversing
the
stairs


down into the basement,



down near the foundation where she can begin her corrosion;where she can feel what she thinks she is.

where I can witness

Texting Anthony

"I was throwing my lunch away and I threw out my cellphone with it."

"Tony's Coney's?"

"No I went to The Corner Burger. There were alot of bags on the tray."

"Still how does that happen?"

"I hate that phone."

"Hated."

"Huh?"

"You hated that phone."

"I made that clear."

"You didn't want to go back for it?"

"I didn't realize it at the time. This woman I met at the station later told me she been trying to call me for the last few days..."

"It took you a few days to figure out you lost it?"

"I don't dig these phones. I remember in high school when we use to pass notes. You remember? It was about the anticipation. You remember? The anticipation. I folded my little note and just placed it in their hand." He said trailing off.

"Your serious about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. You make it sound simple."

"I just miss letter writing even though mine was blocky. I just feel now my ass have to speed up and for what? You can't really fold a text message and touch someones hand."

as
i
go







i try to lose her

my sleep will be easier. I think.







but she remains for another day.

i am getting better at this.

first

go

into all of your opportunities

its ok to bring all of that noise

you will have to do it again

Jonathan Dirty

"I hate it when people walk down the sidewalk and they are not aware of their arm movements."

"Where are we headed today, Jon?"

"Can you calculate what I am saying? It is just the propulsion of their arms back and forth-- back and forth." He said punching his words. "They are proving to me that they are completely detached from their bodies."

"Proving to you? I see. Hows your wife doing?"

"Your not affected by this?"

"I am here all the time eating pastrami sandwiches, drinking my overly sugared ice tea and trying to get the waitress to smile at me."

"I've noticed your routine here." He said quietly.

"OK let us head back to this propulsion."

"No one is in tune with these moments on their way home or their way to work. They are just not aware."

"You are angry about this."

"It bothers me."

"Hows your wife doing?"

He draws back in his chair "She's fine." He rubbed his head.

"What are you doing when all of this is happening?"

(no alarm)


"I just hear muffled voices over the intercom as I sit at an airport (say it the french way its fun!)

I don't know I'm just waiting for the unknown. Like I said before in a poem no smoking, drinking or carousal not many distractions so awareness remains.


In the mean time I fix my ceiling, photograph and write."

"I humble myself







and always admit I don't know what I am doing.

I always ask for inspiration."

Lanvin rides

"I decided to ride my bike north on Clark, why?"

"Just wondered which direction you had traffic rubbernecking."

"He lives off of Wrightwood."

"And you carry everything on your bike?"

"I do."

"Right."

"Of course, OK, so this is my third visit with him and this time we were doing more breathing and and some movements."

"He's buying it."

"I have his attention."

"Of course."

She scans the room and then reaches for her glass and sips. "I find that we have to keep going with some people. I won't deny that it feels like there are two people in the room, one disabled listening intently, an another one who is trying to create something between us."

"You mean me? But in this case mentally disabled."

"Yes you, which we can discuss later, with me sipping from a glass with an olive accent."

"You knew this type of shit would happen."

"Of course and this isn't a complaint. The point I am trying to make is I see it now; I see people who are asking for help--flailing their hands, you know? Save me from this person, they seem to say."

"This person that is sizing your legs up for their evil experiments."

"Yes." she winks.

"So he follows your prescription."

"Not his foil, but the other person is listening intently."

profane

the unsure and the manic

the furious and the covetable

all of it here

all of it worked and dispelled












all of it







in the safety
of
this
inalterable
love

a place without a no you can not know



no box with a key

no confines


a structure you cannot dress yourself with




open

Williams time table

"I believe in achieving the after sex relationship before sex."

"And I believe that beautiful women initially look at fucking as a liability."

"Something tells me we are starting on two different levels of thought."

"Forgive me, continue with your opinion."

"How can you punch me with no arms?"

"Right."

"If a woman can see that love through conversation, compassion exists outside the structure of a relationship and even sex, it can change their idea of what a true relationship is."

"You some sort of guide?"

"What do you mean? You see this as a job or another method."

"Running game? Yea. Different methodology, but with same purpose."

"Words from a man who still practices unhooking a bra in the dark." He said tapping his watch.

"Dig, too candle light, though to be more accurate."

"Right."

"Of course."

"And we know each other how?" He said reaching for his bag.

"We have the same Mother."

"Right."

We are not taking love and heading into the sunset; we are going to use it to liberate ourselves from these tired old concepts and centuries of ruined lives.

Their design requires counsel

we are given


who we need









their appearance and demographic



the false controversy they cause









must be deliberated.















we are given




who we need

i love your smirk




your chuckle



the way your eyes curve down like an umbrella when you smile






and that your favorite font is this



yes

all of it

"The train
has left
the station."

she is a veteran
of something


but a virgin here



oh such an amateur at what others are weighted down in.

Lemons for William

"She came over at 11 last night to make lemonade for me."


"lemonade?"


"Yea."

"Is that was she was calling it?"


"This woman is different or maybe I am." He finished his beer and flagged a waitress down for another. "She came over with about 8 lemons, raw cane sugar and a small container of blackberries." He said pulling himself closer to the table.


"At night?"


"Yea."


"No Vodka?"


"No thank you."


"What is the significance of this?"


"You can't see?"


"You seem to be amiss yourself."


"Amiss?"

"Yea."

"What the fuck is that word doing in your sentence? Anyway I claim to not know, but its her weightlessness and authenticity. There was some carnality to our evening, but don't you see? Authenticity is somewhere in those lemons."