Love.

i took my inner High

my translucent

my counselor

i took him to a strip club

where he changed thongs

to wine.

i bring my Love things

i bring it my dregs

scrapings, bits and pieces

debris

i bring my darkness

and Love obese s and brightens me

i bring my gloom and scandal's

and love feeds off of it and expands

it doesn't need my compliments

it justs needs my obscurity for me to be grand.

Slowie takes a mean photo.

"I ran into this gentleman who I had a series of exchanges with in the past."

"Gentleman?"

"Yes."

"OK."

"I wanted him for reasons I didn't know."

"What do you need to know?"

"I need to know enough to get through the weekend-- well...generally."

"Well."

"Well what?'

"Finish the Goddamn story beautiful!"

"Of course. So in exchanges I mean it was only visual."

"Visual?"

"Visual. Well he exchanged a ton of words."

"So where are we in this conversation, because I think I'm lost."

"He's an artist and I was fascinated with his work so I created a private photo exchanging site sent him the link and for a month or so I put up a photo of myself in beautifully arranged seductive poses all while paying close attention to hiding my identity."

"Again?"

"I seduced him every single day for a month. I was privy to the fact that he was capable of searingly coming a part that way."

"So that alone means off you go."

"Yes."

"Is 'Why?' a good question here?"

"I was attracted to something about him. And I was also attracted to his work and I couldn't figure out why."

"Why not stand in front of him and work it out."

"He was married."

"OK. like that has stopped your beach landings before."

"This was different. I hated what he was doing to me. I wanted to burn his mental house down."

"You don't know him, right?'

"Not at all."

"But you punish him based on the feelings he has pulled out of you?"

"Of course."

"Right."

"I wanted to draw him out so he could show me something that I can hate."

"Ok."

"That felt good to say."

"So what happen?"

"He went insane. He descended. He lost himself. He needed to know who I was. I devastated him further with my outstanding rendition of sexy and obscurity in photos."

"You're a bounder."

"I'm worse."

"But what happened next?"

"He came completely undone. I saw this ugliness in a man I had never seen. But more importantly I saw a weakness and in it was what I needed. I was healed. I was sanctified and relieved."

"Did you celebrate by eating a puppy?"

"No, I had a glass of champaign and again I was relieved."

"The question is 'What do we yearn for so deeply?' And the answer doesn't come in the form we may expect. The answer is 'We yearn deeply for an infinite, absolute communion with Love itself' The experience we seek that will ultimately satiate all our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual hunger is and always will be, to know ourselves as whole, integrated Infinite Beings. We cannot ever know real safety, real peace, real security, real love, or real joy until we acknowledge and willingly initiate this journey to wholeness."

-Take me To The Truth

"Can I be in it, can I give to these areas of my life, without making them the most important, without living from those places? Can I still relate to the people around me? If I don't place ultimate importance in my job, my title, can I still be in it and do my work from there? I think the answer to all of these things is yes. And it might be argued that I can be better for the people around me (friends, students) if I'm living from this place of exploration, trusting in HS."

-ab

!

when it comes to you

i want wonderful back

i want outstanding

magnificent

and incredible

i want these words as only singular interpretations.

i don't want to say anything else.

they will have to feel amazing to see

they will have to feel sensational to understand.

i don't want to say anything else.

Anthony falls in love.

"I think everyone is looking for love. I know they are starving for it. Wait let me finish."

"I didn't say anything."

"I think every act is someone looking for love. What do you think? What? What is your heart telling you when I say this?"

"How is he capable of making everything sound like a tirade?"

"Do I sound upset? Trying not to go for that."

"I don't know."

"Listen every fucking body is looking for love, right?"

"You don't read the internets?This is a very popular subject on dating sites."

"I'm not talking about a lack of fucking sex satiation that people think they are looking for I'm talking about a serious lack of who they really are."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"You know this sounds even random for you."

"My girlfriend carefully pushed me down the stairs yesterday."

"Carefully?"

"Who wants to do something like that?"

"Someone who knows you. I've tried to run you over but the median was too high."

"Everyone is piled high in a car of stupidity when it comes to what is driving them."

"Not sure how that sentence works but...."

"I saw the love in her heart as I rolled rapidly awkward down the steps."

"But did you see the pain in her eyes?"

"Who really wants to do something like that?

"I don't know?"

"This searching is consistent even if the actions are different. Don't you think? Don't you think every stupid shit thing and everything that they think is love is all the same thing--lack, a form of lack."

"Your girlfriend pushed you down the stairs because she wants love."

"Right."

"Then I hope Lanvin fires a fuckin' round into my chest from a large caliber weapon because I'm really digging her. You know?"

"OK?"

I don't know

i can't

and i don't know

i don't know

i don't know

i don't know

i don't know

Slowie likes the sunshine.

"I told this wonderful gentleman yesterday that I only had room in my life to fuck him."

"I'm sorry?"

"Well that was the only table available."

"I'm sorry."

"You know I am still with Moncler."

"His name still frightens me."

"I mean I really like him a whole lot for the moment. So if I was going to sleep with someone I only had room for degradation."

"But you saying you have it available?"

"What should I give it instead to Monty? I couldn't stand a horrified look on his face in the morning. I mean he thinks I'm a lady."

"But I'm aware you only dress like one, and he will soon find that out."

"What are you one of my shrinks?"

"I don't know."

"So I explain again to this gentleman that, yes this is what I have available--well abasement. And he says 'well maybe after that we can be friends and then even something more'."

"But you do understand that this pursuit for sex is a part of a man like his central nervous system."

"Yes. I can dig that, so I go further because I am curious. I'm the type that wants to see all the sacred sites in Iceland. So I confront him further with the possibility that humiliation could also take the steering wheel after a while. He asks me 'How much humiliation?' I explain in almost great detail, as much as my inner Vanessa Del Rio could allow. I turn it on..."

"Why spend this much time away from the TV."

"I do it really to save myself."

"How's that?"

"I do it sometimes because I can't help but take my vulva out in front of a pack of Richard's. I'm trying to extricate my unsavory side. A bright summer day seems to be the only way to do this."

"No it needs to come out to a stranger in a pencil skirt in a hotel bar in Seattle after your wife drops you off at an airport."

"You confessed didn't you."

"I don't remember."

"In the end I need to take this out for a walk."

"I have a treadmill."

"Maybe one day I will be free."

I've seen the light.

Yes you will believe this

I have seen the light.

the faint one drawing me near.

calling me closer

floating me

the city with its frayed edges just behind me.

i move away

just enough

just enough

you'll be given love
you'll be taken care of
you'll be given love
you have to trust it

maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours
maybe not from the directions
you are staring at

trust your head around
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you

all is full of love
you just aint receiving
all is full of love
your phone is off the hook
all is full of love
your doors are all shut
all is full of love!

all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love
...

bjork

i'm tired of talking

i'm tired.

i'm tired of talking

i need to rest my head onto something soft. i need to bring my brow down

i need to open a new lane to my evolution.

i'm tired of working your mill

i just need a little respite

i'm tired of talking.