it is here
walloping,












and asphyxiating





me


throttling so I can see




what I'm not













i find the room





directed







i give







to finally experience

is anyone listening?












Doesn't mean that I will stop








I can't






I can only sit with my hands in my lap


















even though the box is so tight











no smoking
no drinking
no carousal












nothing missing











I am focused

Mae

"How many drinks did you have?"

I drunk till the evening went into a dysfunctional fade." She she said grabbing a crumbeled pack of cigarettes left at a table next to them. Fishing a broken one up, she remembered she didn't smoke anymore. "I need another vice."

"Alcohol is playing all the roles for you right now."

"You sound like my liver." She said reaching over and pinching a piece of his cake and shoving it into her mouth.

"No I am more like your pancreas."

"Hey I got an idea. How about we go back to your place." She lowered her eyes and found his.

"And what?"

"You know."

"No I don't."

"Has it been that long? In the past you would have...what? Commandeered a police horse and threw me on the back of it."

"Yea and we would've sailed down Michigan Ave. with me barely on getting doored by cabs."

"You know I changed my mind I want to go home and go to sleep." She whispered.

"Of course."

"I hate sounding like a man all the time."

Oceania

It is heavily unexplained







We are heavily libidinous

∫

"I like my men young."

"You mean your boys in that case."

"It's all about me." She said quietly. "You rudely pointed this out."

"Yeah…till it sunk in, but I was never rude."

"You are just, you."

"Yeah."

"But I don't want to know their stand on nuclear proliferation, Walter." She said spinning her tea with her finger and tasting it.

"You don't care about their take on the world food bank."

"Well I do care…"

"Just only if they could give a thoughtful opinion." He said sitting back and folding his arms. "But his opinion has to match yours to the letter."

"Your sitting there like some high school gym coach. You claim to have me figured out."

"You have yourself figured out and you're bored. Like some chess master playing chutes and ladders."

"What?"

"Huh?"

She stared at him for a moment "It comforts me."

She quickly drank a glass of wine

Pushed herself back from the table.

Adjusted the volume of the music

Fe ll back on the couch

Her feet dangled

she is looking

she always looks



at me



as if I am covered in sequins





I count her blinks

One

you, trying on pixels



sends me slowly into a fervor





in person it is to be experienced





completly distracted by every sense.

all

we are all married











Relationships pouring into each other



no walls holding them out












flowing love through different faces












we are all married

give
give
others give and give

It is whispered till it pounds

a drip



drip

in


our mind





love




is all




there is.

not to date you





sleep with you
or marry you

it is not the design










but to still love you



that is always

The work
if unobstructed by your ideas
is arresting, needed and will allow the focused to better understand themselves










the artist mangled and broken
not a witness to it

(seeks no help)


is none of our business.

i stand in your home











disturbing nothing,


as a light breeze announcing itself only in your silence




You are here




briefly

you are manic because of this

unbalanced

because of this

but I am here at your service and wait for yours














disturbing nothing





but yet i cause anxiousness,








tears,






anger




love




your self breaks you down

I stand disturbing nothing

hoping you stay home

crumble

and see this.

I need to unravel

I need to






maraud my history

--blot it out


and unravel

I need to unravel






I need to unravel to straighten out

to wear the humble of these spoils



only then will I see.

only then will my new seams hold my present.

I need to unravel

I need to unravel to be whole

there are two of me
one stands






and one watches one stand

stay uncomfortable

















stay uncomfortable with all you see

I need to unravel

a little

then more

it is distracting holding it together.

Pulling thread through a needle.

ransacken lore
i need to unravel--just a little
just little

to see

Hidden

it's easier that way isn't?

the birds are exactly where you left them

the sky is as beautiful as you thought it


but love


love has no construct

it flows easily and safely from that humbled source willing to extend it.

enlightenment is a demolition project














'Take me to the Truth-- undoing the ego'
Nouk Sanchez & Tomas Vieira