We must clarify ourselves

what are you doing with my love

you are staring at the sun
and missing its reason













what are you doing with my love

you are dwelling in the rain
and forgetting the season

Do we know what love is?


is it the final question

I had a conditional idea
but now its unconditional

Am I naive?

I create a rule and watch HS break it,
then
lovingly twist
and






turned it





I allow her to do this instead of the ego. I have let her in.

I needed a new idea another way to live

A superstar; hard to resist.

so it seems when you are loving; when you are finding new clues to who you are. Bringing illusions to the truth.

Do we know what love is?
Because they love me--they do, all of them. Looking to see where it comes from I'm sure.


"is it my sex?" They ask themselves

still offering, spilling and unsure of their posts

I have created this atmosphere as the dictator to the unknown land.
A fucking fumbling isolationist who jumps on stage with an idea.



I have drawn those too distraction by their own discoveries.










all of us looking to understand what we already are.

she straighten her skirt and laid prone in the grass
I slowly positioned myself next to her
The park lights poured onto a pitchers mound and gave us ambiance.

I last saw the Dipper 23 years ago at my grandparents house in Michigan.
A jar of fireflies cradled in my hand and a pocket full of misgivings to quickly reach for.
here it is being pointed out to me again and I try to get comfortable.

"When things don't look the way I expect them to, it's time to stop questioning and start trusting."











Gary R. Renard "Your Immortal Reality"

but you have

could never give that up









the fresh flowers and house slippers.
freshly squeezed and its stainless sanctuary.


could never give it up for the coarse world and its beautiful cousin the unknown








*but you have

why must you know?
sounds like my old God

So many
and you must know

you must know who comes to lay an offering.

You must know whose mortar you are continuing to loosen
you must know whose life you are sacking


the allegiance destroys ideas
sucking magnesium from the bones
sounds like my old God

she sits across from me with every apeture closed but one.

Should I be?
Should I be honored that the *Queen is dreaming of me?

I am hovering in the shadows of your court



Oh Great Queen
shot from many angles
admired in all of them.

The *elaborate one

I am a mere fodder in your abbey
one who just smells your smoke not kisses its source
walk on me dear jewelled one, with your turned ankle and your yellow buckle shoes
so I can at least feel your touch.

yield to the willow
all the loathing
all the desire of your heart.

-BASHO

Let it go







your higher self doesn't give a fuck
about the constructions you have created in your life




your ideal marriage
Audi station wagon
Gap pocket T
your church







It is not looking to oversee the groove you are carving
the theology handcuffs you are looking to secure


your 401k
your resentment








your personal evolution is all it cares about

all it loves

But your big brain has begun

with its

distraction
stuck in books and classes that stave off the inevitable.



The I am doing




Your claviger does not care about your disputes only your submission






let it go.

your foyer is admirable

i need to step into
another room


please
a quieter one,
a comfortable one
one devoid of sticky substances and apologies

How many times can you take my coat?
How many times can you ask me about the weather?

please
allow me your hospitality
let me into your other rooms.

i saw her yesterday














i wasn't looking for her.
only continuing to forget



i did not see her eyes or her neatly blemished face.


i didn't have too


her walk was unmistakable




An elegant cadence, shoulders steady, her purse twisting under her forearm. This walk which started us up, becomes--years later, the last page of a book that won't turn.



i don't want her anymore





i studied her back and watched her pull further ahead into a mix of people.

She crossed a street and into an office building.

it is

strange

your photographic tambour still seems perfect
breathing just right
sensibility and mood prickly
is it all dramatic?
is it an elaborate comedy?

You playing many parts.







Ah but this verse impels this along

no distractions




no Poincare Conjecture


no ice on Mercury




There is candy in the Cosmos





no distractions
discover yourself.

HOLD

hold tight





Hold on

Hold. It's a lot of careening and pushing. Then there is aweing and sighing.
There are these moments where I am standing on the lawn in my barefeet.









A smile is getting away from me.
I can hear enjoyment in my voice.








For some reason I can hear enjoyment in my voice.


Hold on.

Hold onto things because you are.
My bags are packed
and I sit on an ideling bus.
I am safe
but I still

hold on.
I am someone who now releases everything

but now I hold on


I hold on because you are.

She needs herself to grow

She needs your love to grow

She needs love to grow.
no to the I just told you
no to the counterfeit card,trip to Queensland and your dinner party.








china from Wedgewood










There is a lot to see when someone sits across from you in a tub


her words filling it.


and then matching the notes from a song with her world



respond


with no weight



a touch



please hold onto nothing.


She needs herself to grow.

I have discovered that when two people are face with a situation that requires one of them to make a sacrificial response, the person with the most belief in a transcendence system can make the sacrifice. What this person will continue to discover that his/her metaphysical back up makes this no sacrifice at all; this support just continues to render the closed system useless.


The person who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world, will not as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages their old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so that he may endure the difficulty and pass courageously through it. Only to the extent that a person exposes himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible be found within them. In this daring lies dignity and the spirit of true awakening.

Karlfried Durckheim

That quote has become a reality for me. We see these zen quotes,koans, and aphorisms, but it doesn't mean anything until we start seeing in our own lives how these words become uttered. They have to be through an experience the person saying them was having. That is not as simple as it sounds. It takes a hovering we must do;everything that happens to us--at every moment, must be observed closely as an opportunity of self discovery.

We cannot project

We have to take it.

Take whatever is happening to us as an opportunity for us to demonstrate compassion. Regardless if it's positive or negative, it is only an opportunity. In the end our vision will become clearer and closed system sacrifices can be made without worry.

One thing

One thing I have noticed about some women is how leaky their thoughts are. They stand guarding doors firmly to get their point across on something, but behind them raiders are entering through a plethora of other hatches.
They do not believe in foreplay with anything, and just find themselves sitting in pools of drippy sexual ideas about themselves.

These women have the structure of a relationship down pat; the business of running it is in safe hands, but the problem is their minds it has to be clearly monitored(if evolution is not allowed) or they will be obsessed over the idea of freedom and make moves in all direction, and then out of fear of this attention immediately try shutting them all down

Hearts will be broken.

K.I.M.

The problem with having a relationship is in the idea of inclusivity; once it is inclusive that is when all the problems begin. You are aware of this I am absolutley positive, whether unconciously or conciously a crumbeling begins on the celing above us once we close ourselves into a room with our person or thing; we huddle close to it and make it our everything and the world begins to attack our ass for lack of concentration.

Nothing in the worlds room is what it seems. Ever since I started to seriously study this macabre atmosphere I started to unconciously feel like I was in some multi billion square foot fun house. Floors letting below me and then quickly returning to keep me engaged. Mirrors that distort my shape and keep me staring at myself.

and then relationships with the same formula and less than happy results. You meet someone you laugh with them, they seem cool, the sex works, everybody is on there best behaviour. So you get involved with them or even get married and then all your roads lead to them; you are standing under an umbrella in a monsoon asking them how there day was.

Relationships are not residing places or destinations they are opportunities to see yourself better regardless of what we call negative or positive experience. Once those experiences are properly digested we continue. Moving on, keeping those who have more to show us and growing from those who don't.

No time to covet or anchor down with someone, because the shit storm is waiting to catch you sleeping on the job.

KIM keep it moving.