Jonathan Dirty

"I hate it when people walk down the sidewalk and they are not aware of their arm movements."

"Where are we headed today, Jon?"

"Can you calculate what I am saying? It is just the propulsion of their arms back and forth-- back and forth." He said punching his words. "They are proving to me that they are completely detached from their bodies."

"Proving to you? I see. Hows your wife doing?"

"Your not affected by this?"

"I am here all the time eating pastrami sandwiches, drinking my overly sugared ice tea and trying to get the waitress to smile at me."

"I've noticed your routine here." He said quietly.

"OK let us head back to this propulsion."

"No one is in tune with these moments on their way home or their way to work. They are just not aware."

"You are angry about this."

"It bothers me."

"Hows your wife doing?"

He draws back in his chair "She's fine." He rubbed his head.

"What are you doing when all of this is happening?"

(no alarm)


"I just hear muffled voices over the intercom as I sit at an airport (say it the french way its fun!)

I don't know I'm just waiting for the unknown. Like I said before in a poem no smoking, drinking or carousal not many distractions so awareness remains.


In the mean time I fix my ceiling, photograph and write."

"I humble myself







and always admit I don't know what I am doing.

I always ask for inspiration."

Lanvin rides

"I decided to ride my bike north on Clark, why?"

"Just wondered which direction you had traffic rubbernecking."

"He lives off of Wrightwood."

"And you carry everything on your bike?"

"I do."

"Right."

"Of course, OK, so this is my third visit with him and this time we were doing more breathing and and some movements."

"He's buying it."

"I have his attention."

"Of course."

She scans the room and then reaches for her glass and sips. "I find that we have to keep going with some people. I won't deny that it feels like there are two people in the room, one disabled listening intently, an another one who is trying to create something between us."

"You mean me? But in this case mentally disabled."

"Yes you, which we can discuss later, with me sipping from a glass with an olive accent."

"You knew this type of shit would happen."

"Of course and this isn't a complaint. The point I am trying to make is I see it now; I see people who are asking for help--flailing their hands, you know? Save me from this person, they seem to say."

"This person that is sizing your legs up for their evil experiments."

"Yes." she winks.

"So he follows your prescription."

"Not his foil, but the other person is listening intently."

profane

the unsure and the manic

the furious and the covetable

all of it here

all of it worked and dispelled












all of it







in the safety
of
this
inalterable
love

a place without a no you can not know



no box with a key

no confines


a structure you cannot dress yourself with




open

Williams time table

"I believe in achieving the after sex relationship before sex."

"And I believe that beautiful women initially look at fucking as a liability."

"Something tells me we are starting on two different levels of thought."

"Forgive me, continue with your opinion."

"How can you punch me with no arms?"

"Right."

"If a woman can see that love through conversation, compassion exists outside the structure of a relationship and even sex, it can change their idea of what a true relationship is."

"You some sort of guide?"

"What do you mean? You see this as a job or another method."

"Running game? Yea. Different methodology, but with same purpose."

"Words from a man who still practices unhooking a bra in the dark." He said tapping his watch.

"Dig, too candle light, though to be more accurate."

"Right."

"Of course."

"And we know each other how?" He said reaching for his bag.

"We have the same Mother."

"Right."

We are not taking love and heading into the sunset; we are going to use it to liberate ourselves from these tired old concepts and centuries of ruined lives.

Their design requires counsel

we are given


who we need









their appearance and demographic



the false controversy they cause









must be deliberated.















we are given




who we need

i love your smirk




your chuckle



the way your eyes curve down like an umbrella when you smile






and that your favorite font is this



yes

all of it

"The train
has left
the station."

she is a veteran
of something


but a virgin here



oh such an amateur at what others are weighted down in.

Lemons for William

"She came over at 11 last night to make lemonade for me."


"lemonade?"


"Yea."

"Is that was she was calling it?"


"This woman is different or maybe I am." He finished his beer and flagged a waitress down for another. "She came over with about 8 lemons, raw cane sugar and a small container of blackberries." He said pulling himself closer to the table.


"At night?"


"Yea."


"No Vodka?"


"No thank you."


"What is the significance of this?"


"You can't see?"


"You seem to be amiss yourself."


"Amiss?"

"Yea."

"What the fuck is that word doing in your sentence? Anyway I claim to not know, but its her weightlessness and authenticity. There was some carnality to our evening, but don't you see? Authenticity is somewhere in those lemons."

Soaking Mae

"He promised me the rain would pass."



"Of course he is in charge of that."



"I was looking so pretty. I was in this Ralph Lauren floral; my hair tamed..."



"Your attitude developing like thunder showers."



"I meet this man for the first time and I am completely soaked."



"The park has a covering band shell."



"Yes." She then sighed.



"And?"



"The music was excellent and everyone piled closed to the stage."



"I understand, but knowing you, after a while you wasn't looking to stay dry were you?"



"Why do you say that?"



"You didn't like him. You could have went to the lower level to stay dry."



"Maybe."



"But your soaking flagellates you in front of him. And then you are are like, look at what the fuck you have done to me."

"And he didn't get it." She sighed. "I hate you."

"Yes."

"I wasted my time."

"Your mind is ridden with someone else so it's ok."

She laughs. "And I discovered that it is no help that he doesn't have and online presence."

"What do you mean?"

"Netflix is all he has and since we are still friends there, it is the only place I can observe him without him noticing."

"You are in a boat 25 miles out from the coast of Pitiful."

"I am instead anchoring there, purchasing some goods on the dock."

"Of course."

"You love no one so how could you understand."

"There is that."

"I sit there staring at the movies that are "at home." and wonder why none of my recommendations are in his Que." She says adamantly. "I see what he gives high stars and then I read his reviews. I read his languished sentence about Finding Nemo--again, just to be close to him."

"What can I say?"

"What can I say?" She says silently "That's all it leaves me searching for."

"Well you do have a boat."

"And a soaked pack of cigarettes."

"What is it about not talking to him, Mae?"

"I don't know I guess speculation gives me the opportunity to be ready to run."

"So you don't know what he's thinking?"

"Well I feel--since he is not talking to me his doubts are on loud speaker."

"And.."

"Yes?"

"You don't want to talk to him?"

"Well." She started and then went silent.

"You like drama don't you?"

"What?"

"When you was growing up your favorite show was Dallas wasn't it?"

"Falcon Crest."

"If there isn't a conspiracy you create one don't you? I didn't know this about you Mae."

"All you know is I like Pall Malls."

"And lemon cookies."

"But I'm also afraid."

"OK."

"I just like the beginnings of a relationship."

We were both there





and then you convinced me that I was.





I believed you









but you are alone
your actions say you are alone

Playwright

the playwrights


yes



it keeps are lines clever

and our sighs dramatic






slowing our pace






lengthening our act


oh we make it something don't we?


misdirected frustration, anguish,

and tears



our answers remain in the moment




our fears everywhere else



the dramatists

we wrote it.

Delays

no building shelters
demanding attention






delays







we are one
all are relationships are supplemental











this will show us that.

other side

from your tale
I saw you sitting there; candles burning
belly laughing. Telling stories

I see this tale
but i could not see this side

i am reluctant

plugging


it all in again is done with reluctance




why? I may ask myself
it all means well and its beautiful


but consternation still tugs a little at my sleeve


i am a little reluctant

Lanvin is Beautiful

"Sun glasses doesn't mean your invisible."

"I understand."

She twirled a fry in some mustard. "And its almost like they are just falling forward down the street and instead of walking."

"The humanity."

"What were you saying earlier?"

"Nothing. I was actually just longing for a point to your earlier story."

"Your so lovable. Do you pine for me as well?"

"Yes. But it is only because you are very very attractive."

"Encore un fois?"

"Of course."

"It bothers you doesn't it."

"Yes it does. It constantly puts me in front of you. It's obviously distracting."

"You know I'm joking."

"I'm not, this is a serious issue. A man can lose 10 years or more of his life being distracted by you. Matter of fact I was suppose to meet my mother today but quickly canceled it after you called. She could have been getting back the results from her Oncologist "

"I am responsible for you."

"I guess you are."

"You are completely distracted by me. I am your false idol, and I have to help you by denying your ass everything you want--which you have a problem telling me anyway, and just give you what you need."

"I'm serious."

"I know you are."