To do nothing is the hardest job of all.

"It is always just below--just enough. I get just enough to stay uncomfortable. To clarify it is a sustained uncomfortable."

"What?"


"I can't get comfortable. Moreover I hate the fact that I am now noticing that there is a possibility of sustained comfort. This is something i wasn't told."


"I have to admit I love the word Moreover. It signals a level of intellect."

"What?"

"Huh"

“Yes, they want to meet me on the other side, but they leave me with this map that is hard to understand. A map that’s confusing and purposely drawn to fill my mind with smoke.”

“What?”

“Well, then they are surprised I made it. Something in them wants to know how I did it. It’s like the information they gave me was what they used, and I did it without the same level of consternation, without the same heartache and delirium. But what they don’t realize is; I didn’t use what they gave me.”

“Ok.”

“Hey. There is no plan b.”

                                                  You can keep your difficulties.

"If I'm not driven by fear I don't have a clue what I am doing at all. It's like I need it. Like I need it as a minute to minute guide post to getting me in bed at night. With out it I'm not quite tethered."

"With out it?"

"Yeah."

"Without it what?"

"Sketches"

"What?"

"I just think that you are only supposed to have sketches of an idea. Just these shards that are solid but not at all needing you to put them together. You just stand there and wait."

"Sort of like ordering food here."

"You get this consistent idea, and then all of a sudden you figure you everything about implementing it. You're smart all of a sudden."

"Why do you sound accusatory?"

"Because you think you're smart. How can an idea which comes to you out of nowhere mean you now know what you're doing?"

"Is this a question?"

"I don't know? Listen, if you know what to do after that, than that is wrong. That is where you are on the side of all kinds of error. You got an idea, now you need another one and fucking so on. A idea of implementation to. A tight path to build."

"I'm thinking about my burger."

"Listen, we just have to hear what to do from the same unknown that gave us this thought. That's all I'm saying. Hold the sketches."

"I hear you."

If you stop doing things in your life.  Something will still happen.

                                                    Hey, negativity is consistent.

What I like is she is steady. She is still holding her place in line, while I am out of sorts; trying to see what's going on.

The Miraculous no

Don't make decisions

"I just think we have to do the thing that we absolutely want to do. There is something that you absolutely want to do. Whatever that is will work; will happen. It will happen because finally you are using the initiative of the right mind. It will be you 5th original choice in the last 15 years all the other ones were made by someone else or your feeling of lack."

"It is an incredible amount of trusting. Somebody on the other side of a busy lane of traffic waving you over. It's like a 60 lane highway."

"I still hate this place."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"I'm talking about this diner."

"Right. I had to fire myself first. I had to be miserable first, tired, entertain outcomes that were less than smart--well horrendous, eventually. I just had stop take an assessment, abate the distractions. "

"I'm not sure this is pastrami."

"You understand?"

"Maybe."

"I had to notice."

i wait

empty

i wait.

 many moments;excruciating, grating and suicidal. the kind that rips and punctures

moments alone in density.

ah

but now i wait

empty

empty of my own pain;handing it off

i see those coming and going and i wait.

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup
Drink it up
Love her and she'll bring you luck
And if you find she helps your mind
Buddy, take her home

we should not be attached to an outcome that will cause us to lose our peace.

It is not your function to correct errors in others. It is your function to overlook them.

"He makes his life difficult."

"So you say."

"He has to."

"Nobody architects that shit."

"He has to make sure he is properly insulated. His feet is not outside the covers."


"You're insane."

"I'm just sayin"

"Again. No one does that to themselves on purpose."

"I do it all the time because I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts. I would soak through two layers of shirts if I couldn't avail every 60 seconds with action."

"I think you're insane."


"My life doesn't have time to make my life difficult, because I am going at such a rapid pace it can't fucking catch up."

"I'm ordering another."

"Exactly."

I have to endorse the fact that I am loved.