William likes a woman who eats meatloaf.

"I like a woman who eats meatloaf."

"What?"

"I mean isn't that sexy?"

"What?"

"A sexy woman who eats food that isn't that sexy."

"What are we talking about?"

"I just get tired of people who are trying to get it across to me that they eat safe, that they eat food that to them seems trendy, you know? They eat turkey. They don't eat red meat, or they don't eat much. They eat wheat bread with one hundred and twenty two grains, lot's of salads."

"They have to be neutral. I like mustard sandwiches."

"They have to be neutral. They have to draw me out. They can't present something that will spoil their campaign to continue the relationship."

"Campaign?"

"If they stay blank. If they stay neutral they stay safe. They can shape themselves to me and properly hide. It is a campaign to avoid commitment while committing to a miserable commitment."

"What are you saying?"

"I like a woman who eats meatloaf. A woman who eats liver. And she doesn't have a problem getting her hands down in the sirloin to make a misshapen hamburger on the stove."

"The kind that sticks to the top of the bread because she forgot to add the onions."

"Right."

"And the Egyptian romaine lettuce."

"Exactly. But she has to be cute."

"Right."

"This lifestyle somehow keeps her healthy, her skin radiant."

"Rotund doesn't work."

"Right. It tips the scale in the wrong direction and could indicate something else going on."

"Yes, someone becoming stout in the kitchen. Sizable."

"Sounds like you got yourself a little campaign going."

"I guess in the end I just like a woman who eats meatloaf."