"I just think we have to do the thing that we absolutely want to do. There is something that you absolutely want to do. Whatever that is will work; will happen. It will happen because finally you are using the initiative of the right mind. It will be you 5th original choice in the last 15 years all the other ones were made by someone else or your feeling of lack."

"It is an incredible amount of trusting. Somebody on the other side of a busy lane of traffic waving you over. It's like a 60 lane highway."

"I still hate this place."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"I'm talking about this diner."

"Right. I had to fire myself first. I had to be miserable first, tired, entertain outcomes that were less than smart--well horrendous, eventually. I just had stop take an assessment, abate the distractions. "

"I'm not sure this is pastrami."

"You understand?"

"Maybe."

"I had to notice."

i wait

empty

i wait.

 many moments;excruciating, grating and suicidal. the kind that rips and punctures

moments alone in density.

ah

but now i wait

empty

empty of my own pain;handing it off

i see those coming and going and i wait.

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup
Drink it up
Love her and she'll bring you luck
And if you find she helps your mind
Buddy, take her home

we should not be attached to an outcome that will cause us to lose our peace.

It is not your function to correct errors in others. It is your function to overlook them.

"He makes his life difficult."

"So you say."

"He has to."

"Nobody architects that shit."

"He has to make sure he is properly insulated. His feet is not outside the covers."


"You're insane."

"I'm just sayin"

"Again. No one does that to themselves on purpose."

"I do it all the time because I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts. I would soak through two layers of shirts if I couldn't avail every 60 seconds with action."

"I think you're insane."


"My life doesn't have time to make my life difficult, because I am going at such a rapid pace it can't fucking catch up."

"I'm ordering another."

"Exactly."

I have to endorse the fact that I am loved.

Fear blocks success.

You can't crash this car

"There is nothing I can do."

"I know."

I am boiling down

"I know what it was. "

"Should I ask?"


"I don't know. But I'm going to tell you anyway. I have to. She hasn't committed to this new relationship, and I am stuck interacting with our first generation."

"What does that mean?"

 It's just that sex was the only avenue to closeness she would allow. Well not really allow consciously."

"She's more creative and intelligent than that?"

"She is but chooses not to be." 


"What about the grueling exercise? The competitiveness? She has allowed many to share in this area with her." 

"It was just as carnal, and less connective. Everyone is feeding from the same trough."


"I can't see that. You make it seem like they are all dragging from the cigarette."

"I see it because I wanted what she could only offer. After many years of knowing her. I realize that to be close to her I could only see one thing."

"Because you wanted to see it."

"No."

"I disagree...."

"It just appears like the only way to find the purpose of evolved relationship, even though she would never commit to this new relationship until she committed to herself."

"Relationships are about solving things. If it ends to soon because we got one idea wrong about it, it could fuck some things up."

"Here we go."

"You don't believe me?"

"I don't understand you."

"I can't solve none of my inner crimes."

"What?"

"That is what it is all about."

"They have to wait on you?"

"I guess."

Hey

 Sarah

While I can't beat the latest headlines of hysteria--which I spend some effort avoiding, mine would just read:

MARTIN IS AWESOME.

By Ms. Liver Lilly

Martin, again surprises us with his incredible adaptability with movable type, and he continues to drive wedges into the notion that he could ever be a heel. Ah.... how he will always find ways to delight those ...

of course I have my own personal struggles but yet I don't dial into as serious as I once did. I hope the abroad hasn't hammered you into a person that say's things like "I need to find a place to vacation this year....or those Americans and their warmongering ways I am so glad I have drained my blood of them." In any event I hope you are well.

What is your biggest fear in this predicament?
solve the biggest fear in this predicament

I can have a self or I can have consistent behavior. I cannot have both.

i need to hitchhike from here

 

What do you need comfort from?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Q:   M
          

          It's my boyfriend. He promised me that he would work harder at loving me. He told me that love has to first start with him caring about me. He said he needed to 'care'. That is what he is having difficulty with. 

We've lived together for close to 4 years now, which has allowed me to lose some of my patience. 

Should I try and end things with him? or do you think he has the capabilities to care about me--which he can finally turn into physical love?

Regina the Optimist (not my real name)





A:  RTO

           I know this is not your real name because if it was your boyfriend's name would be Ivan the Terrible. 

Actually your boyfriend is highly self actualized. He has architected a relationship that I'm sure has provided him with a beautiful insulation of comfort. He has carefully fashioned you into a nice pair of sheepskin sleepers that he can walk through any possible uncomfortable experience. There is a parking ticket on his windshield; he drops his feet into you and the negative experience is teleported into what I assume is showing up as your bodies aches and inevitable pains. 

But I have missed your question. Does he have the capability to care for you? Yes his house is filled up to the brick chimney with 'care' just like any other 'being' born in this world. Is this care for you?


 No. 

This is how the relationship is designed at this juncture. If you continue to be attracted to it, it will have to come after you've both travel at high speeds the hell away from each other.

 It will have to come after significant experiences and relationships that you've had with other people, and then the attraction could just--at the minimum, exist to talk about how bad or how good these experiences are.


no luck needed.



M



send all your love lost inquires to: puncturedventricles@gmail.com