I have to stay right here.

1

"This place is tight right here. It's just uncomfortable at times."

"I don't understand."

"It's getting to be so tight."

"ok."

"So focused."

William's present.

"It is so very difficult."

"OK."

"You know I have to stay with a present investment. All of my possessions are right here. Whatever's happened or will  happen, I have no investment in."

"Can I steal them?"

"No."

"OK."

 are you OK right now?

"What do you have in your pocket take it out and give it here."

  one hour and thirty two minutes.

"My confidence, helps the other people accept my life."

"I just getting ready to say that."

"Seriously."

"I know."

"Any wearyness. Any doubts, under confidence. In my choices, will bring people that I go to for advice attacks."

Nicholas still gets to be an asshole.

"I get to continue being a asshole."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"OK."

"It's just my actions have change. I swapped everything out, but I have kept my personality. I get to still be gruff. I can still be cold and quiet."

"OK."

"It's just my actions are now reversed. They are habit forming just like when they were assholian.  I am compassionate and loving. These are my only actions. Everything else I have to keep barricaded in my head until I can forgive that shit. I can keep that to myself.

"Being an asshole."

"Yes. I can only be a little agressive when someone tries to strong arm the truth from someone else who is willing to digest it. It is not personal. Even though my mind is racing to attack them with a large piece of wood. My actions are to protect truth and in the end. I still get to be myself."

"Interesting."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"I get to stay familiar with a whole new system in place."

"I am thankful for that."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

William lets it catch him.

"I had to finally let myself be poor."

"I think that was more of a fact."

"No, listen. I wasn't. I work. I have a car. I got a house. I got expensive computers."

"Debt."

"Yes. You understand. I had to be caught. I had to be caught by what was happening to me. You understand?"

"No I don't."

"My debt and poorness was chasing my ass. It was trying to envelop me, you know? It needed to catch me."

"What are you talking about?

"I have to let what is desperately trying to happen, happen."

"You being poor was trying to happen."

"It was trying to happen, yes. I was avoiding it. I was avoiding it with more credit cards, more extensions, more fake living. This countries system easily allows this but I don't want to talk about that shit anymore. It doesn't want this realization to catch you. It needs you to live extended for whatever reason."

"OK."

"But by stopping, and letting yourself get caught by what you are trying to stay so desperately ahead of you begin to find the reasons for all of this.You understand?"

"No."

"If you let what is trying to desperately happen to you. I mean you can't sleep on it anyway, right? Your constantly running to stay just ahead."

"I get it."

"Let it happen."

William's purpose over money.

“Purpose has become more important than money to me.”

“Can’t say I understand.”

“I have to be about something.”

“OK.”

“It is searing me..”

“What is?”

“Not having a purpose. I’m not saying I don’t have one.”

“I didn't think that. I guess.”

“There is one, but not answering to it  creates an incredible problem for me, you understand?”

“I’m trying to.”

“Money starts to disappear. It just becomes like this thing that pays your way or gives you a few nice things or solves some problems. It loses its luster. It climbs down off of this pedestal and becomes muddy. Purpose pierces through and invades my day. It demands my attention.”

“How?”

“Because life becomes a few nice things, some problems solved. It becomes this thing that you just have to survive. You have to just make it year to year.”

“You’re making this difficult. I’m just trying to make it.”

"Don't you want to figure this thing out?"

"What thing? You are born you die?"

"But what if it is this huge skipping record for thousands of years till you stop and try to figure it out."

"But what if it's not?"

"Right. The normal way has depressed me."

"Your sad."

"Yes. I have been, which is what this conversation is all about."

"Of course."

"Arn't you?"

"Yes, of course."

"Of course."

William is illegal.

"I figured as much."

"Your gut needs you to do somethings that is illegal to your philosophy."

"What?"

"Your loyalty is to only what attracts you in life. The logistics is none of your business."

"That seems crazy."

"It does."

"You agree with me?"

"Yes. I wake up sometimes and believe it is the most insane thing I could have been inspired to believe. You mean I am not in charge of any of the logistics of my life? Any of them? But I've seen when I control everything I deliver doleful expressions. I enter painful relationships, wretched careers. My logistical choices have failed me completely. Year after year. It's a failure and I am firing myself---it makes sense. I have failed in this life. I have to try something else."

"There are many moments."

"Yes."

"You agree?"

"There are happy moments. But they are a part of a up and down system that needs to keep your mind funded for whatever reason."

"Does it matter?"

"It matters. I have experienced no ups and down once I relinquished ownership of my life's logistics. Success and so called failure doesn't matter anymore if I don't have to take Paxil. If my mind stays consistently calm--if all I have to do is concern myself with protecting  inspirations and identifying what attracts me, than I am  in a better state, don't you think?"

"Doesn't seem logical."

"It isn't, based on what we see. It's going to make some of your actions seem illegal philosophically, or even literally."

"OK."

"But you will finally play the game the was it was intended. A peaceful mind cannot lie."

Before you can learn to swim

 you must first learn to float. 

be it water or the natural world, you must trust the stuff you are in. If you fight against it, you are going to gasp and struggle. You may even drown. Yet when you learn to trust it, you see that the water wants to hold you up, not pull you down.

Anthony is the client.

"I want you to listen to something because it is very important."

"What is that?"

"Listen to me."

"OK."

"This whole fucking life and everything in it supports me."

"The whole fucking thing, huh?"

"You don't believe me?"

"Not sure I said that.

"I was raise where I had to find vocations that supported the world. You understand what I'm saying? I had to use my body and mind to support everything I see. What I am telling you today is...I'm the fucking client here. The world supports us. Everything in this world is here to support what we're about."

"Your the client?"

"I am looking in this existence for what is useful to further whatever I am attracted to, whatever I have a healthy evolutionary desire for. It is about me."

"OK."

"You get that?"

"I think so."

"That is all."

William doesn't want to be infected.

"I had to let it go."

"OK."

"I didn't want to be affected by anything anymore."

"What?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Not sure I did."

"I had too many things to be affected by in a day. I had too many things. I was trying to keep up with them. I was trying to go from lowest to highest. Or highest to lowest...whatever. I was trying to be properly bothered and panic by these things on a daily basis, but it was overwhelming."

"Not sure what we are...."

"Everything that bothers me. What I read online. What negative thing someone says, my financial worries, my dating worries, my career worries. My government fears.

"This restaurants lunch special menu."

"Just like tiny arrows attacking me every 60 seconds.I had to render it all useless. I had to stop being affected by it."

"Infected it seems."

"I had to drop all of it, you understand? I couldn't harbor any of it under my pillow for later. None of it. I either take all of it to cut into me, or leave it."

"Every 60 seconds?"

"Yes."

"OK."

"Not even one of these things was irritating enough to keep. Not one."

"OK."

"What I found is that they were all the same temperature. There was no higher or lower. You will be OK if you let them go."

"Ha."

"I know you will be OK. I know you will.......they were playing me. So I can't be affected by any of it anymore."

This life is awesome.

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Lanvin says it's ok.

"It's ok to have things going right in your life."

"Is it really?"

"It's designed that way, you know?"

"OK."

"Why don't you stop worrying about tomorrow, what's already happened. Everything is going to be perfect."

"I didn't say anything."

"I know you didn't."

"I'm just saying it is ok to accept happiness."

"OK."

"You can accept it."

"Right."

"It's yours. It belongs to you and it is all there really is."

Slowie hates his walk.

"I don't like the way he walks. His walk is terrible."

"Of course."

"He doesn't pay attention."

"What?"

"He doesn't pay attention. He swings his arms, he trudges. It's laziness. He lacks concentration."

"You mean his walking?"

"His walking is everything. It is my window into his ass. He is going to live in other peoples business because of that fuckin' walk and not his own. Can't you see that? Are you listening? You are so far away from home with a walk like that."

"You don't want anybody to be home."

"I do. I need people to be home at this point. I'm not looking to marry anyone, but they have to be home."

"They don't have to stay there?"

"At moments they can go out on their porch."

"You don't care."

"I care."

"You sure?"

"I can't stand his walk.

"OK."

"It is rude and haphazard."

"OK."

"It scares me to death."

Can you handle peace?