Slowie has an alien.

"I don't want it."

"What?"

"Love is hard. Like is acceptable."

"You believe that?"

"Love is strangulation."

"What?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I enjoy my life of having sex with people where we are on the same page. We have conversations that are laden with thoughts that there isn't a lot of time here so let's get on with it, but sense we both try to believe that we really like each other; we pretend to be interested in each others mother."

"I love talking about bloody Korean movies before sex."

"I do a lot of 'like' because I'm afraid of love. I almost hate it. There is almost something sinister about it. It is at the root of every interaction, reminding me again to try it out."

"Try it out? What are you talking about?"

"I don't know really. That's part of the problem. But you know I don't think it has anything to do with searching. I don't think we are supposed to be out looking for it. You know tryn' to find love?' I think it is an entity. I think it is some alien inside us. "

"The Thing."

"An alien. Something we don't understand. You know it is so much harder not telling the truth to each other..."

"You mean easier."

"I mean harder."

"Ok, right."

"I don't know if love is truth, or what it is, because that is what drives me insane. There is no love to be found out there."

"It's the Thing."

"I'm having these abbreviated relationships with labels like 'open' or 'not serious' as a way of staying away from the alien, but it is with me. It is inside of me. It is at home alone with me, gnawing at me, choking me with it's need."

"Sounds painful and nothing like the Notebook."

"It's not the strangler. I have to take that back. It's not gnawing at me. You know what? I take all of that back. I don't know what I'm saying."

"What?"

"All of it."

"OK."

"My resistance is all it is. It is just my constant..constant resistance. That resistance is what does the gnawing. That is what does the choking. I have spent my entire life keeping myself back from something."

"That alien."

"Yes and based on my life, it seems more like it is my only friend. A friend that flashes itself at me when I want to sell myself short. It reminds during a kiss that there is no love to find in this."

"Uh huh. So not a question of what you are looking for..."

"But more like what are you resistant to?"